February 23rd, 2007 by vanhouten
what is this feeling i feel inside that makes my heart smile the worries away…
i just cant seem to explain…
February 21st, 2007 by vanhouten
love . . .
in-love . . .
to be in-love . . .
how does it feel?
well, feelings are fleeting and wil leventually fade . . .
let’s ask my room mate who’s in-love . . .
a little bit more
February 10th, 2007 by vanhoutenwhen you’re twenty-one and still single, you cant help it but smile…specially that valentine’s day is drawing to a close.
you are made vulnerable to the wiles of your well-meaning friends, well, let me be specific, your not-so-single and happy-in-a-relationship friends… they make it their imposed obligation to have you paired with of course, an eligible bachelor. so they set you up with friends of their friends, or their cousins, or the friends of their boyfriends… or whoever they could think of that would be gentleman enough to take you out…
i know… based on experience…
well, its not that i undermine their intentions… i know for a fact that they only want what’s best for me and above all, they want to see me happy…just as they are in the arms of the ones that captured their hearts…
but i am happy…
even without a man in my life… i have my friends, my mother, my father(whom i consider the only man i have ever loved) my brothers ren and josh (who stole my heart a long time ago) my time to call my own, my independence… my freedom to do as i wish, to go where it pleases me. i enjoy the company of books with soft tunes in the background when my flatmates go out on dates with their "boys".
i am happy. is there a need for more? for more happiness?
maybe there is, but as of this time, i haven’t felt the need yet.
well, to be honest, when i look at couples ,especially those whose youth are gone, i feel a sting in my heart. i think it’s sweet. i think it would be nice to have someone to hold hands with like they do. i think it’s healthy as well…i think it’s "kilig"…but i think it’s funny sometimes though.
i do get a little jealous sometimes especially now that my room mate is now having someone to call special in her life. when at weekends, i wake up all alone in the flat and see notes on the dresser that they’re all out…with you know-who… i do get lonesome at times when they speak of the man in their lives with such warmth and love in their eyes.. i do get a little irritated when i asked them a query first but they answer first the text message from the guy that came a minute later. and i sometimes feel like crying when they get something on valentines and usually, i don’t.
but at the end of the day, i pick myself up and look me in the mirror. well, the best is yet to come.that’s why for me, there’s no reason to get giddy, to get pressured by people around you, to get in a hurry to shack the next best man, or to jump into the first bus that passes…
why not wait a little bit more? there’s always a time for everything here on earth. i know my time has not yet come.
God has someone in store for me. He still is in the process of molding him… so that when the time is right, i’ll be able to enjoy the harvest of my sacrifice…
happiness
January 15th, 2007 by vanhoutenhappiness is as elusive as a butterfly’s kisses.
for me at least..
based on the fact that what’s in the core of man’s fallen nature is the seed of selfishness. people tend to make what they have or what they have achieved the barometer of happiness, hedged on what they want.
if a man is present in a lady’s life, she thinks she’s complete.
if someone granted with awards and recognitions, he thinks he’s fulfilled.
if one has risked and cavorted with death, one thinks he’s proved what life is worth.
if you get what you want, you think you’re happy.
do you really think so?
i don’t.
i believe that a person will never be absolutely happy if he gets what he wants. well, maybe for a moment but certainly not for long. because he will only end up wanting more… and more.
instead, have ultimate joy gauged by what you simply need.
a father, a mother, a family that wholeheartedly support you. and if you’re lucky maybe a man to share dreams with. a job that replenishes finances at the end of the month and at times affords you little luxuries. friends whom you can count on when the going gets tough and pray the best for you and those whom you can chat with over cups of hot coffee. a baby’s first innocent smile or a child’s sincere and soft, wet kisses. life, despite the blind curves and long stretches. or simply the fact that you’re alive to enjoy God’s blessings. the first sunbeams at the break of morn that kiss your face or that cool gentle breeze that caress your neck when you’re out on a walk.
a God that never fails even though at times we fail to be faithful.
these, i believe, are sufficient to bring about a smile from the core of your heart that lights up your countenance.
knowing the subtle difference between want and need is essential to happiness.
happiness is elusive, yes. but its never out of reach.
like chasing butterflies are. running around or walking with stealth and flapping your net will get you nowhere. it will forever evade you. the best way to lure it is just to sit quiet in a spot and be content at the sight of its flight on fragile wings. and the next minute, you’ll feel the ever-gentle kiss of the butterfly in the crest of your hand.
the woman i aspire to be
January 8th, 2007 by vanhoutena woman of beauty. its not about flawless skin or a fabulous body.
its about charm. she speaks from heart. its not about wit. she’s smart and she doesn’t have to prove it.
its about taste. she knows a good man when she sees one.
its about tact. she knows when to speak and when to shut up.
its about style. she knows how to wear joy and grief. its about grace. she knows when to bend with the wind.
its about wisdom. she knows when to let go and when to move on.
its about romance. she knows how to flirt with life.
its about mystery. she is effortlessly elegant, amazingly kind, completely unfathomable.
a woman of beauty is a woman with a heart and soul. someone who knows her place.
a woman of passion. its not about wild, reckless abandon.
its about devotion and dedication,
its about quiet, smoldering fervor.
its about constancy of purpose yet flexibility of direction.
its about faithfulness to God.
its about commitment to responsibility
its about channeling one’s energy to productive work.
a woman of passion is a woman who can draw from her pain and angst and bring forth greater things.
she has a thirst for knowledge, a hunger for fulfillment, a quest for meaning.
she has the ability to reinvent herself through heartbreak and failure.
a woman of passion is a woman of never-ending sojourn.
a woman of courage. its not about being without fear.
its about living despite the fear.she pursues her dreams.
she goes out on a limb. she fails and fails. she gets up and tries again.
she is comfortable where she is yet ventures far to discover what lies beyond.
she walks alone.
society’s scorn doesn’t defeat her.
she takes life’s forks, undeterred. she lives without regret.
she loses without bitterness. she thrives on trials, blooms in heartbreak.
crisis doesn’t break her. tragedy doesn’t daunt her.
a woman of courage is a woman whose pain brings out the best in her.
a woman of passion and compassion, a woman of valor and beauty. blessed with wit and wisdom. a survivor. a person no one can put down. someone determined to be happy. someone who can find meaning in the ordinary.
she’s my ideal woman- the woman i aspire to be.
January 4th, 2007 by vanhouten
i believe in the sun
even when its not shining
i believe in love
even when i feel it not
i believe in God
even when He is silent
hypothetically speaking
December 30th, 2006 by vanhouten
Failures, instead of becoming orphans of their originators, should be the source of strategic lessons and the precursor of great success… always been beset by ideals, it would be easy to look at things from a different perspective… when you get out of the box and look inside it- see what’s in there and view it as it is. just the way it is. and be objective about it. you’ll be able to have a bette grasp of the matters at hand. not be overridden by a tsunami of feelings or preconcieved notions.. your head is clear and you’ll be to think through with ease. thus arriving at an appropriate solution. but it would be much different when you are the inside the box… when you feel the symptoms of claustrophobia seeping slowly into you… the way it paralyzes every inch of your body… and you have nowhere to run… or simply trapped. how would you get out of the box? how would you thrive to get past the blinding emotional hell to be able to learn from that failure? how would you take off the cloak of grief that covers your soul? how would you pick up the pieces and put them back together again when you weren’t able to have a glimpse of the portrait? how will you treat a wound of the heart? how will you sieve through the failures of life and stake out the moral lessons?
just random queries… in my mind’s eye
burned out
December 10th, 2006 by vanhoutentired. that is actually an understatement. if you could see me now, dark circles under these blank glass eyes, frizzly hair, loose clothes.. you’d think i lost someone.
